Lavi's smile slips when Kon doesn't make to leave, at least, he has no idea if Kon is moving or not -- he doesn't know anything because he can't see. His breathing comes in a little quicker, faster than it'd been when he was alone, because when he was alone he could pretend a little better, that it'd be fine?
but he can't now, so the speed of his breaths pick up even faster]
-- It's my eye. I can't...
[he means his sight but like, it might as well be his entire eye?? it's useless to him now??? this is different from the stage turning black or glitter getting into it, it's all different because this is his eye, it's his vision, it's the only way a Bookman can see --]
oh. oh, he knows what this is spiraling into. kon goes from touching his shoulder, fingertips grazing down his arm so that he knows he's still there and where he's going - and then he grabs his wrist, bringing his hand up and pressing it firmly against the center of his own chest.
his pulse is a little quick from the stress, the concern, but he takes an exaggerated, slow breath. holds it. ]
Focus. These things keep going away, don't they? They pass. So you have to breathe, Lavi. [ and exhale, voice low. ] Breathe with me.
There you go. [ slow, deep inhale. steady exhale. he keeps repeating it, covering lavi's hand when he presses harder down like he can tell him it's okay that he is. that it's okay he's having a goddamn panic attack.
kind of warranted for someone that sees and records everything. ]
The emotions of last week waxed and waned before they were gone this week. Gideon was able to lift her sword again. I can feel this, now, when I couldn't have earlier.
Whatever we're missing - temporary. This is temporary.
[Lavi takes another minute (or is it an age?) to settle, but he hears what Kon's saying -- the words register as the panic fades bit by bit, settling into something calmer, as calm as he can feel when his sight's still gone.
Temporary, he said. Right, that would make sense -- his grip loosens, palm sliding down Kon's chest,]
...Sorry.
[there's such a complicated mixture of gratitude and fear and embarrassment, gratitude that Kon's here, fear that he saw, and embarrassment for letting his emotions loose so easily -- ]
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Lavi's smile slips when Kon doesn't make to leave, at least, he has no idea if Kon is moving or not -- he doesn't know anything because he can't see. His breathing comes in a little quicker, faster than it'd been when he was alone, because when he was alone he could pretend a little better, that it'd be fine?
but he can't now, so the speed of his breaths pick up even faster]
-- It's my eye. I can't...
[he means his sight but like, it might as well be his entire eye?? it's useless to him now??? this is different from the stage turning black or glitter getting into it, it's all different because this is his eye, it's his vision, it's the only way a Bookman can see --]
no subject
oh. oh, he knows what this is spiraling into. kon goes from touching his shoulder, fingertips grazing down his arm so that he knows he's still there and where he's going - and then he grabs his wrist, bringing his hand up and pressing it firmly against the center of his own chest.
his pulse is a little quick from the stress, the concern, but he takes an exaggerated, slow breath. holds it. ]
Focus. These things keep going away, don't they? They pass. So you have to breathe, Lavi. [ and exhale, voice low. ] Breathe with me.
no subject
but
he can feel, he can feel the warmth of skin, the beating of a heart. he can see with his hand, just like this.]
...
[and he breathes, inhales and exhales, matching Kon's pace as if it's the only lifeline he can hold onto,]
no subject
kind of warranted for someone that sees and records everything. ]
The emotions of last week waxed and waned before they were gone this week. Gideon was able to lift her sword again. I can feel this, now, when I couldn't have earlier.
Whatever we're missing - temporary. This is temporary.
no subject
Temporary, he said. Right, that would make sense -- his grip loosens, palm sliding down Kon's chest,]
...Sorry.
[there's such a complicated mixture of gratitude and fear and embarrassment, gratitude that Kon's here, fear that he saw, and embarrassment for letting his emotions loose so easily -- ]